A. D. Amorosi, June 2014

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

If A.D. Amorosi can’t be found writing features for ICON, or the Philadelphia Inquirer or Metro, he’s probably hitting restaurants like Stephen Starr’s or running his greyhound

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Colin Quinn’s Small World

When we last left Colin Quinn, the Park Slope-born stand-up comic and television icon had made a third career for himself as the Doris Kearns Goodwin of Broadway-bound one-man comedy with Long Story Short. That satire-rich program, ripely hilarious as it was with its modern pop cultural references, did yeoman’s work with the entirety of old world history, focusing particularly on how each empire got too big for its britches, lost its footing, and fell from grace and power. Not only was it filled with Quinn’s craggy Brooklynese coursing its way dryly through tales of Napoleon and various Caesars downfalls, Long Story Short, notably directed by his pal Jerry Seinfeld, was filled with projected maps, slides and screens for maximum educational effect. Now, that’s a show, a literal teachable moment rife with the stand-up’s patented asides and caustic witticisms. With that, Quinn, 54, is sallying forth with yet another one-man event, Unconstitutional, this time focusing on the very thing that made the United States great (or at least gave it some direction once drafted), the Constitution. Unconstitutional opens June 13, weeks earlier than expected at the Philadelphia Theater Company’s Suzanne Roberts Theater due to the fact that actor Colman Domingo had to leave the late May-scheduled PTC production A Boy and His Soul after accepting a role in a major motion picture about Martin Luther King filming in Atlanta.

Let’s start with the Philly factor and the fact that you are starting your gig early and extending your run because of a snafu with a previously running show NOT running because an actor got a part in a film. Your take?

My take is that providence stepped in. My show is meant to be in Philly now, because that’s where it all happened in the first place.

Since Unconstitutional delves into the U.S.’ single most important political document—unless you have a better one in mind—I would guess that Philadelphia was a focus of your research, especially considering that what you call “your four-month drunken pub crawl” was here to begin with. Did you delve hard into the differences we made as opposed to Boston or New York City?

I did research on the Constitution and, with that, some descriptions of Philly back then. But, if you think that I deeply read historical documents about Philadelphia life at that time, as opposed to Boston or Manhattan, you must think you’re talking to David McCullough.

You’ve been in Philly as a stand-up and as this new-found arbiter of theatricality, what do you think of us?

Philadelphia is the only town you’ll see hipsters put up their hands and fight. It’s a violent place but it’s a beautiful place. “Honest” is the best way to describe it. Brotherly love is the most misleading motto I can think of, however.

I was lucky enough to see Long Story Short in NYC before it blew up and hit Broadway. Did you know or was there some sort of concentrated focus at that juncture in your career where you wanted to create a different job description for yourself, in opposition to, say, stand-up comedy?

No, I didn’t consciously set out to do it this way; I still consider it a form of stand-up. I’ve done these types of shows since 1992 when I did An Irish Wake. Lately though, it’s all I feel like doing.

Would you say that the notion of bracketing events and ideas thematically is new to what you do?

I like to bracket things, even in my regular stand-up act I always bracketed people by behavior and such.

What the hell did Jerry Seinfeld have to do with any of what Long Story Short became, honestly?

Don’t ever question Jerry’s presence. Anywhere.

OK. What do you want then—require—out of a director anyway, say now, with the one-man Unconstitutional?

I know that a director of a one-man-show takes a lot of abuse, but he honestly does the same structuring as any play director, only instead of bossing around a few people they boss around one.

Doing thematic, forward-moving material with a solid finale—an end point—has that made it impossible to do stand-up shows? Have you done stand-ups since staging Long Story Short then Unconstitutional? Have they felt weird?

I do stand up thematically when I’m working these shows out and, yes, it is a little weird. People aren’t used to somebody droning on about the Constitution when they’re trying to get drunk and hear some dick jokes. But forcing people to listen to my boring opinions is why I came to comedy in the first place.

What is your take on the critical elite of Broadway and theater—honestly, your milieu at this point for the most part, yes?—versus the cats who wrote about you when you were on SNL, Comedy Central and MTV?

I love it because at least they review me. In other milieus they ignored me.

How would you describe the change in the crowds? Theater sorts aren’t your usual two-drink-minimum types.

Crowds are much more enjoyable to deal with when they’re not having checks thrown in their face in the middle of my set.

I just thought about this having mentioned Comedy Central—a quick aside about your political show Tough Crowd. What’s your take on that show—it seems that it was a political precursor to what you’re doing now, yes? And what do you think of the network’s political leanings vis-à-vis Stewart and Colbert?

I do think Tough Crowd was a precursor to what those guys are doing now. Stewart and Colbert are great. That being said, though, is there room for diverse opinions in comedy? Apparently not. …[T]here is a school of thought that’s deemed acceptable as far as the socio-political goes when it comes to comedy or movies or television shows. And when you deviate from that tone on any issue, you’re branded a right winger.

So Long Story Short ends. When does the idea for Unconstitutional hit? Was a constitutional issue being discussed at the time that pricked up your ears?

I started writing it because it’s interesting that in a country where no one agrees on anything everybody loves the Constitution.

Why do you think that document is so beloved?

I think people love the Constitution because it’s the document that leaves the most wiggle room for individual personalities to emerge. And it takes into account the fact that power corrupts all of us. All the time.

I read your Twitter feed where you mentioned Long Story Short and Unconstitutional came to you, in part, in a series of dreams. Were you kidding or is life as such that dreams of government and its bylaws fill your resting hours? It’s like five pages in total, but it’s a boring-ass five pages.

I was kidding. My dreams usually involve rats (in my subconscious) and murder (my conscience). I haven’t dreamed about the Constitution, but I would love a dream where Franklin or Madison came to me and told me some secret about the Constitution. Or Franklin could tell me where the Philly sex clubs he used to go to were.

What’s your take on questions of the Constitution and the men who guard it, the Supreme Court? Past and present. Do you like this particular court—Scalia’s ourt— and where they’re going?

I think the Supreme Court is the least developed idea in the Constitution. It needed work when it was first written and they simply never got around to it. Plus the way you get this particular lifetime job is a little strange.

Do you feel as if President Obama’s administration has adhered to or run roughshod over the Constitution?

I think that President Obama has been like most other presidents in the sense that he uses whatever interpretation of the Constitution he finds convenient at that moment.

Are you improvising the non-constitutional stuff like the Kardashian bit you riff on? A friend of mine who happens to be a Springsteen freak saw your show and told me your take on Bruce’s working class leanings and insensitivity to guys who have to get to a job early was pretty uproarious?

I just do a lot of improvising based on what’s going on at that time.

Do you mind if I throw out a few names and topics and get your first reaction? Donald Sterling.

Nobody’s asking who Sterling’s friends were that made fun of him for his girl Instagraming black guys? What does he hang out with, teenage boys?

Edward Snowden as Nobel Prize fodder.

Those Norwegian always pick whomever is going to piss people off the most. They’re trolls with that prize.

Kim and Kanye’s wedding.

Kim and Kanye’s wedding started as Anthony and Cleopatra and will turn into Ricky and Lucy. Let’s see.

The fact that Russia has chosen to pay us no mind at all in the Ukraine stakes.

The fact that Russia pays us no mind was inevitable. We’re the guy that everybody impresses their own citizens by how much they abuse us. It’s a crowd pleaser to trash the U.S. and every great leader knows it.

If you had a chance to draft a newer version of the Constitution, what would you change or add?

I’d make the Supreme Court a four-year gig, I’d update the commerce clause to include offshore banking and outsourcing regs, and I’d maybe make the Senate five years and House of Representatives three years.

Do people treat you differently because Long Story Short and now Unconstitutional have such educated bents?

People don’t treat me differently, but I think they should. Maybe a little more “Hey, this guy’s a thinker” when you bastards approach me in the street, instead of shoving your iPhones in my face and asking “How’s Bobo!”