ABOUT LIFE

Jim Delpino, MLSP, LCSW, BCD, is a psychotherapist in private practice for over 33 years.

Email:  jdelpino@aol.com   Phone: (215) 364-0139.

Jim Delpino, MLSP, LCSW, BCD, July 2014

What Exactly is Freedom?

Freedom extends from the very depths of our inner being to the great expanse of the world outside of us. Because we live in the freest country in the world, external freedom is a given state of being not afforded to countless numbers of people who are alive today. Regardless of our external circumstances, almost everyone has some opportunity to experience at least some internal freedom.

Freedom From Repetition  Most of us have a tendency to repeat rather than to change. Call it human nature, social norms, religious, spiritual, or cultural beliefs, if we look for repeated patterns in our thoughts, feelings and actions and learn to spot them, we have the opportunity to go beyond their restrictions. Once something about us becomes conscious, we have choices about how to deal with it. Some repeated behaviors, feelings and thoughts are helpful because they aid in making good choices, give us peace of mind and a joyful heart. Becoming more aware of our patterns is an access point to greater freedom.

Freedom to Look Deeply  Socrates is credited with saying “Know thyself” and “The unexamined life is not worth living.” To pry the lid off your inner self is like taking a cover off a well. Unknown and dark, we shine a flashlight into the well to discover what’s down there. We bravely shine the light of awareness into our own well—we peer into the unknown, rather than imagine all kinds of things that may or may not be in there.

Mental Freedom  It’s said that freedom issues forth from discipline. Consider the musician who diligently plays his scales, learns theory and technique—this is the same person who can then improvise freely because of all his training and discipline. Mental freedom is about the ability to control negative and unhelpful thinking habits and being able to choose the thoughts we want to think. That’s the balance of freedom and discipline. If you want to develop your body there are gyms, yoga studios, sports and numerous activities available. If you seek to develop mental freedom you must be willing to do the work. There are no shortcuts. Pursuits that require concentration, education, reading and meditation are all paths that lead to greater mental freedom.

Emotional Freedom  No one gets through life without experiencing wounds, disappointments, heartbreak and loss. Life, even in the richest and freest country on earth is still a very difficult proposition. Many of the hurts inside of us can restrict our ability to fully embrace life. The concern that one might be hurt or disappointed again can become a ball and chain around our ankles. If we have a pattern of avoiding certain issues, people and places, then we’re not free to choose. While some experiences are healthy and uplifting, avoiding people who’ve hurt us is probably a good idea. There are all sorts of ways to sort through and diminish the control or influences of unhealed wounds on our lives. Introspection into our emotional realms can be inspired and aided by art, music, movies, books, articles, friends, family and professionals. Emotional freedom might be described as having foresight, insight and, of course, hindsight.

Behavioral Freedom  Our actions, reactions and transactions with ourselves and others is the locus of behavioral freedom. Behavioral freedom doesn’t mean we should do whatever we want whenever we want. Being behaviorally free is knowing what freedoms of behavior exist in any given situation and being wise in selecting which to choose and which to ignore. Clinically, this skill is known as judgment. Judgment is defined as the ability to project the consequences of our words or actions into the future. Behavioral freedom is often choosing to do nothing at all and observe the behavior of others. In this way we may come to understand others better, perhaps learn from them. In observing we can see ourselves reflected back by other people, we can copy positive behaviors and learn not to behave in certain ways. This is one way to improve judgment. Positive behavioral choices tend to generate positive feelings and thoughts.

“To make the unconscious conscious” is a maxim originally coined by Freud. Each of the five access points referred to are ways to trigger what we know inside that is hidden from us. When we’re unconscious of this we’re less free. When we’re unconscious we can hurt the feelings of others more. When we’re unconscious we can treat ourselves much too harshly. When we’re unconscious we can become too prideful and self-centered. When we’re unconscious we can take care of others at the expense of ourselves. In becoming more aware of these types of unconscious patterns our personal freedom expands. And this is perhaps why Socrates encouraged us to know ourselves and examine our lives.